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Valentine’s Day: Sham or Precious Memory?

Restaurants are full, florists are cleared out and chocolates are getting passed around like blunts in an NBA locker room. It must be February 14th. Is Valentine’s Day an opportunity to reconnect with your loved one? Your chance to take a shot at someone you’ve admired from afar? Or is it just an excuse to demand presents and make the lonely feel even more alone?

KENT: I’ll tell you what Valentine’s Day is. It’s a rite of passage for us suckers. When you start dating, you start getting hosed on February 14th.

BUD: We’ve reached new levels of cynicism around here, folks. I know I speak for a lot of people when I say I dig Valentine’s Day. It gives us something to look forward to. It’s a reminder of how much we love each other. And we set aside time for us. Alone.

KENT: Oh, really? Ok, what did you get your sweetie-pie?

BUD: We’ve got reservations at a swanky place for dinner and I got her a big box of Godiva chocolates.

KENT: Sounds lovely. Why Godiva? Why not a classic Whitman’s Sampler?

BUD: Well, I used to get her those.

KENT: But you don’t anymore.

BUD: No.

KENT: When did that change?

BUD: Well, I guess it was after college but before we got married.

KENT: So you’re saying that after you got your first full time job you went from buying Valentine’s Day gifts at the drugstore and instead get them at a boutique gourmet indulgence retailer?

BUD: A what? It’s only one day a year. What’s the big deal?

KENT: The BIG DEAL? I’ll tell you the big deal. It’s slackers like you that need to pick up… the SLACK. Some of us have to chase women EVERY DAY of the year. But you just coast the whole way until February. Some of us are romance magicians 24/7 and don’t wait for the calendar to tell us when to flip a switch. You coasters make Valentine’s Day necessary because it’s the only way to hold you accountable.

BUD: So am I a slacker or a coaster?

KENT: Look at this guy.

You think this guy is chasing women with flowers and candy? Hell, no. Today is like every other day to this guy because he knows what he’s doing and doesn’t need to play catch up on February 14th.

BUD: Don’t blame me, or him, for the way the system works. The fact that your girlfriend / wife / mistress wants you to spend at least $100 on flowers even though they’ll be shriveled and dead in three days tells you everything you need to know about romance.

KENT: We’re all either part of the solution or part of the problem, and you, my friend, are the latter. If you kept up your end of the bargain more often we wouldn’t have to bend over backwards every year like this.

BUD: Ok, so if I keep the love light burnin’ all year long, all these artificial feelings and expectations won’t get jacked up every February? We can all just skip it? And they’ll let us?

KENT: Well, no. Probably not.

BUD: I’m glad we worked that out. I have a suggestion: You handle it your way, I’ll handle it mine. And we’ll trudge ahead confident in the knowledge that we’re both probably doing it wrong.

 

 

[important]

PDC Valentine’s Day Advice

My friends, there are lonely ladies and gents out there, and tonight they’re lonelier than ever. But this is not the night to buy them a drink. Tonight, the lonely ones hate us all. Their Jerk Alert is higher than any other day of the year and nothing you can do will bring it down. If you see a gaggle of geese out tonight, treat them like the perfect storm they are and steer clear. Ride out the week and return to hunt another day.

And if you can’t be
with the one you love, honey
love the one you’re with.*

[/important]

 

* Special thanks to Billy Preston and Stephen Stills, for showing us the way.

 

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